


The Set List

by Pheylan



Series: The Adventures of Buckybear and Punkirish [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Veteran/Engineer!Bucky, pre-serum!Steve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2018-07-19 07:49:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7352335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pheylan/pseuds/Pheylan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Small glimpses into the lives of Steve and Bucky.</p><p>Will not make sense if you haven't read the rest of the series</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Too Much Information

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, all and sorry for not posting in a while. I've had a ton of ideas for scenes, but not much for a full story. Hence this work. This will be the catch all for bits and pieces of things that are cannon to this 'Verse, but I haven't figured out how to put into a larger work. The first 3 or 4 chapters will definitely be following chronologically on the tail of the 4th story, but no telling where I'll go from there.  
> Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clint fails to follow his instincts.

Bucky was placing the barbell back on its rack when Clint walked up and tugged on his stub of a pony tail.

“I’m torn between curiosity and wariness,” the blond stated.

“About my hair?” Bucky asked perplexed. “It’s finally got long enough to put up.” He strode over the where Natasha was doing leg presses and started adjusting the weights on the machine next to her.

“No, doofus, on that.” Clint followed him to the machine and then poked at a sore spot on the nape of Bucky’s neck. “How did tiny Steve Rogers give you a hickey there?”

Bucky made eye contact with Natasha and made a face. She grunted back in agreement.

“The usual way – with teeth and suction,” Bucky said sitting on the machine.

“But he’s not tall enough to reach!”

Natasha snorted. “You brought it on yourself, Clinton,” she muttered.

“Actually, he is. However,” Bucky explained as he set his feet on the push plate. “in this instance Stevie had me on elbows and knees with three fingers in my ass when he did it. Not a stretch, really.”

“Ack!” Clint sputtered. “I don’t need to know these things! Not interested in gay sex!”

“One – you specifically asked. Two – fingering is not inherently gay. Everyone has fingers. Everyone has assholes. Guys might like it a little more than girls, because prostate, but both sexes can enjoy it. I’m sure Nat would be happy to demonstrate at some point.” Bucky looked to the redhead for confirmation. She smirked and held up a fist.

Clint frowned as the two of them shared a fistbump. “You two are not supposed to gang up on me.”

“Then be more careful with your questions,” Bucky replied. “If I’d wanted to talk gay sex, I’d probably start with how awesome Steve’s dick is. What is it with skinny guys and big – “

“Aaah!” Clint exclaimed pulling out his hearing aids.

Bucky immediately started signing. _Hung like a –_

“Nope!” Clint denied as he turned around and went back to the free weights.

“You’re horrible,” Natasha commented.

“As if Steve isn’t going to text you the details at lunch,” Bucky replied as he started his reps.

“He’d better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Duran Duran


	2. I Can Hear the Bells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bucky is revealed to be a Music Based Life Form.

Steve was halfway through his monthly chore of checking that all external links on the company website were active and still led to the correct information when the IM window popped up dead center of his screen.

Stark Industries Instant Messaging  
Thursday, 2:16 pm  
**AEStark:** Things you need to know about your guy.  Hit this  link RIGHT NOW

 **SGRogers:** Why?

 **AEStark:** It’s a live feed.  Hit it!

Steve shrugged and clicked the link.  If Mr. Stark was sending it, then – theoretically – he couldn’t get in trouble.  A window opened up with the feed showing Bucky at a work bench swaying his hips to music that Steve didn’t recognize.  What immediately stood out was that Bucky had two flesh colored arms and his Winter Soldier arm was on the table in front of him.  He had it open and was doing something with it while humming to the music.  Then a girl’s voice started singing.

_“I can hear the bells, well don't you hear 'em chime? Can't you feel my heart-beat keeping perfect time? And all because he...”_

And then Bucky started singing along.  Softly at first but by the end of the first verse he was singing at full volume.

 _“Touched me,_  
He looked at me and stared yes he...  
Bumped me,  
My heart was unprepared when he...  
Tapped me,  
And knocked me off my feet, one little touch now my life's complete 'cause when he...  
Nudged me,  
Love put me in a fix yes it...  
Hit me,  
Just like a ton of bricks, yes my heart burst now I know what life's about, one little touch and love's knocked me out  
and...”

“Steve, why are you listening to songs from Hairspray?” Daisy asked coming up behind him.

Steve just pointed to the screen as Bucky started to really get into the song.  His face became more expressive and he moved more to the beat despite continuing to do whatever he was inside the arm.

 _“I can hear the bells,_  
My head is spinning.  
I can hear the bells,  
Something's beginning.  
Everybody says that a girl who looks like me can't win his love well just wait and see 'cause...  
I can hear the bells,  
Just hear them chiming,  
I can hear the bells,  
My temperature's climbing,  
I can't contain my joy 'cause I've finally found the boy I've been missin'  
LISTEN!  
I can hear the bells.”

“That’s your boyfriend,” Daisy stated trying to keep a straight face.

“Yep.”

“He’s singing showtunes,” Daisy snickered.

“Yep.”

“I’m insanely jealous of you right now,” Daisy giggled.

“As you should be.”

As Bucky got into the second verse, he occasionally pulled back from his work to gesture along with music.  Steve was kind of surprised that as dorky as the situation was, Bucky still came off as graceful.

“What’s up with his left arm?” Daisy asked.  “It looks like skin, but there is something weird about it.”

“Yeah, he said he had a lifelike arm, but didn’t like using it because it didn’t move right,” Steve agreed.  “I guess he uses it as a backup when he works on his preferred arm?”

The song finally wrapped up and they got full jazz hands before the music moved to something else and Bucky went back to working on his arm.  Steve pulled out his phone and sent a text.

 **Steve:** You’re probably going to want to kill your boss.

On the feed there was a quick skirl off bagpipes.  Bucky’s face lit up with a smile as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and read the text.  Looking puzzled he texted back.

 **Bucky:** ???

 **Steve:** He sent me a live feed to your workbench.

The pipes skirled again.  This time Bucky frowned as he looked at the phone.  He looked up and around until he hit on the closest camera.

“How long have you been watching?”

 **Steve:** Skye is jealous that my boyfriend is destined for Broadway. *jazz hands*

Bucky’s face turned bright red, while in the background Steve could see Tony Stark bee-lining for the doorway.

“Get back to work, punk,” Bucky demanded.  “Jarvis, cut the feed.  _TON-_ “

“He’s even cuter when he blushes,” Daisy opined.

Steve gave her a look.  “Yes, and he’s my boy, so don’t get any ideas.”

She smirked back at him.  “Okay, but if he ever serenades you, I want to know about it.” She patted him on the head and went back to her own cubicle.

Steve turned back to his work with a slightly smug look on his face.  He may have to put in a request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Hairspray soundtrack


	3. The Man Upstairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steve meets a couple of Bucky's more unusual friends.

“So where are we going tonight,” Bucky asked as Steve trailed him into his bedroom.

“My favorite pub.  They have live music on Friday and Saturday nights,” Steve replied sprawling out on the bed. 

“Cool.”  Bucky kicked his shoes into the closet and then quickly stripped out if his clothes.  “So, dress comfy?”

“Or like that,” Steve said pushing himself up onto his elbows and leering at Bucky.  “I kinda like the red boxer-briefs.”

“Nope.  These are for your viewing pleasure only,” Bucky said with a smirk and a butt wiggle. 

He ducked into his closet and pulled his favorite jeans off a hanger.  They had been black at one point, but were now faded to a dark charcoal and soft enough to cling to his thighs and ass in a very nice way.

“So, is this a Celtic Punk band tonight?”  He asked as he pulled his jeans on and debated his shirt options.  He finally grabbed a blue and black plaid button down and his army boots before leaving the closet.

“I haven’t actually heard these guys before, but going by their website I think they’re a little more metal than punk.  Definitely Celtic rock, tho – “ Steve’s voice came to a halt as Bucky stepped out of the closet.

“Stevie?”

The blond shook his head and blushed.  “Nice pants.”

“Thanks,” Bucky said with a smirk. “So, what are the acoustics like in this place?”  He pulled on his shirt and started buttoning it up.

Steve shrugged.  “Good?  I mean you can hear everything and there isn’t an echo.”

“But it will be loud, right?” Bucky grabbed a pair of socks from his dresser and then sat beside Steve.  “Jarvis, could you have one of the 'bots bring up my earplugs from the shop, please?”

“Certainly, Bucky.”

“What the hell?” Steve asked sitting up. 

“What?”  Bucky looked up from tugging on his socks.  “I’m just trying to protect my hearing.  Did you want a set?”

“No, wait,” Steve said.  “Who the hell is Jarvis?  I thought that was the guy monitoring the elevators.”

Bucky sat up and blinked at Steve.  “You haven’t been introduced?  I thought all the IT people were told about him.”

“Only those involved with security,” Jarvis informed him.

“Oh,” Bucky said.  He turned to face Steve.  “Steve Rogers allow me to introduce you to Jarvis.  He is an AI that Tony created to act as his butler, PA, and – occasionally – nanny.”

“More than occasionally,” Jarvis corrected.

Bucky grinned.  “He’s also a snarky bastard.”

“Wait, when you say AI, you mean like real sentience?  Not just like a game AI?” Steve queried his eyes getting bigger.

“Yup.  He also monitors the building and is SI’s first defense when it comes to security.”

Steve took a minute to process.  “It’s nice to meet you, Jarvis,” he finally said.

“Likewise,” Jarvis replied.  “I am happy to be introduced to people who are important to my friends.”

“Huh.”  Steve looked up and around the room.  “Wait when Bucky says you monitor the building…”

“There are no cameras in any bedrooms or restrooms in the building with the exception of Mr. Stark’s penthouse,” Jarvis assured.  “And I do not actively monitor any microphones or cameras unless called upon aside from those in the immediate vicinity of Mr. Stark.  Your privacy is safe with me.”

“So, Wednesday night you didn’t…”

“I do keep a passive eye out on my friends, so I was aware that Bucky was home and had company,” Jarvis admitted.  “The only reason I have an idea of what you were up to that night is because Bucky likes to overshare with Clint and I heard part of a conversation.”

Steve raised an eyebrow in Bucky’s direction.  “You overshare with Clint?”

“Unlike Natasha, Clint doesn’t want to know details of his friends’ sex lives,” Bucky said with a smirk.  “The game is to see what will trigger him into removing his hearing aids and refusing to look at me.”

Steve grinned.  “Good to know.”

At that moment a robot showed up in the doorway of the bedroom.  Locating Bucky, it rolled up and offered him a small box which Bucky took and tucked into his shirt pocket.

“Thank you, Dum-E,” Bucky said to it.  “Steve this is one of Tony’s three sentient robots.”

The robot focused his camera on Steve a moment and then held out his claw.  Steve cautiously allowed the robot to shake his hand. 

“Nice to meet you, Dum-E,” Steve said.  The 'bot beeped in reply and then headed back out of the room.

“He's the first AI Tony made.  He and his brothers run about 1st grade level of intelligence,” Bucky explained.  “Jarvis, as you can tell, is miles ahead of them IQ-wise.”

“Huh.” Steve drew his eyebrows down in concentration.

“Stevie?” Bucky leaned in toward his boyfriend in concern.  “You said you liked odd.  That still holds, right?”

Steve took a deep breath and then grinned up at Bucky.  “Yeah.  I’m good, Buck.”  He leaned up for a quick kiss.  “Feel like I'm living in a sci-fi movie, but I'm good.  So, get your boots on, pack an overnight bag, and let’s head out.”

“You got it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Voltaire


	4. Good Morning, Good Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steve has to deal with a Perky Morning Person.

The first time Steve stirred that Saturday morning was due to the bed moving and his warm spot leaving.  But then the blanket was tucked back around him, a kiss was placed on his forehead, and a baritone voice said “Go back to sleep, punk.”  So he did.

The second time Steve stirred that Saturday morning was due to the familiar clanking noise his shower made when starting up.  He frowned and started to roll over, but then he heard Bucky singing what sounded like Finnegan’s Wake.  He smiled and settled back into sleep.

The third time Steve stirred that Saturday morning was due to the siren scent of coffee.  He took a deep breath and foggily wondered if he’d accidentally set the pot the night before.  Then a second smell made itself known – bacon.  That wasn’t right.  There was no reason that his apartment should smell of bacon. 

Steve groggily thrust an arm out of his blanket cocoon and grabbed his phone.  Squinting hard, he came up with the time of 9:53.  Hell, no.  Not even for coffee and bacon.  He dropped his phone back on the nightstand and pulled the blanket up over his head.  He tried to drift back to sleep but the tantalizing scents wormed their way under his bedding.  A few minutes later he could vaguely hear Bucky singing again. 

Steve finally heaved a heavy sigh and pushed the blanket off his head.  He again squinted at his phone and got 10:02.  Bucky’s singing in the other room was distinctly upbeat.  Well, Mr. Stark had warned him that his boyfriend was perky in the mornings.  Probably time to see if he could deal with it without killing the guy. 

Steve sat up, grabbed his glasses off the nightstand, and then stumbled out of bed.  He kicked at the clothes on the floor until he found his boxers from the night before.  He pulled them on and then trudged out of his room into the living room.  He could see Bucky beyond the breakfast bar doing something at the stove and dancing along with the music.

The lyrics made their way into Steve’s brain and made him pause. 

“How the hell did the Andrew Sisters record a Blondie song?” he asked as he settled on a stool at the bar.

Bucky jumped and spun around with a smile on his face.  “Stevie!  It’s not the Andrew Sisters; it’s the Puppini Sisters.  They sound like a ‘40s group, but they’re active now,” he explained.  He just grinned at Steve for a moment before asking.  “Why are you up?  It’s only 10.”

Steve slumped forward to rest his chin on his crossed arms.  “Coffee.”

“Oh, right!”  Bucky turned back around and quickly got out a mug and filled it for his boyfriend.  He frowned down at it before saying, “I don’t know how you take it.”

Steve sat up enough to hold out one hand.  “Straight from the pot if necessary.”

Bucky smiled again and placed the mug in his grabbing hand.  “Black as Tony pretends his heart is.  Got it.  You want French toast?  I made enough batter for two people.”  He gestured back at the counter next to the stove.

Steve sipped carefully at the hot coffee and frowned.  “Where did you get bacon and eggs?”  He took another sip of his drink and added.  “And this isn’t my coffee.”

“Oh, yeah,” Bucky nodded as he started to explain.  “Well, I was going to make a pot before I left on my run, but you only had Maxwell House, which is crap, so I stopped at the bodega on the corner on my way back and got decent coffee and while I was there, I thought it would be nice to cook you breakfast, so I picked up everything for French toast.”

“You went running?”

“Yeah, met up with Becca at Prospect Park,” Bucky said after taking a sip of his own coffee.  “I haven’t had a chance to run with her in a while, so it was pretty nice.  Even if she did give me a hard time for sleeping in.”

Steve blinked in confusion.  “Okay.  Well.  I could probably eat French toast.”

“Awesome!”  Bucky turned back to the counter and started battering up bread and dropping it on the griddle that Steve was pretty sure he had never used.  It took him a moment to remember it came with the cooking set that his Aunt Ida had given him when he moved out to college.

The blond drank his coffee and listened as “Heart of Glass” finished and something with electric guitars and…cellos? started playing on Bucky’s phone.   Once the caffeine really hit his system, he realized something about the room was off.  It took him a couple more minutes to figure it out.

“You cleaned my kitchen?” Steve asked.

"A bit?” Bucky replied with a shrug.  He poked around the cabinets until he found the plates.  “I just moved the dirty dishes from the sink to the dish washer and wiped down the counters.”  He began flipping the bread.

“You don’t need to clean up after me,” Steve said irritably.

“I wasn’t.”  Bucky turned back to Steve at the tone of voice.  “I just needed a clean area to cook.”  When Steve continued to frown, he stepped forward and leaned over the breakfast bar to be nose to nose with his boyfriend.  “Hey, I just wanted to make you breakfast, okay?  It wasn’t meant to be commentary on how you keep your place; just a way to be nice.”

“Okay,” Steve said before puckering his lips.  Bucky kissed him enthusiastically and then bounced back to the stove to start serving breakfast.  “You know you don’t have to feed me to make me want to keep you around.”

“I know,” Bucky answered as he placed a plate full of food and a fork in front of Steve.  He smiled shyly.  “It’s just a thing I like to do for people I care about.”  He tipped forward quickly and placed a kiss on Steve’s forehead.  “Butter and syrup?”

“Sure.”  Steve couldn’t keep the silly grin off of his face as he watched Bucky fetch the condiments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from The Beatles


	5. Friends Like These

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bucky and Sam define their relationship

Steve headed to the back of the pub where he saw Sam Wilson had snagged them a table near the dartboard. Sam grinned as he came up to the table and rose to give Steve a backslapping hug.  
  
“Oh, Stevie, no,” Bucky groaned from behind the blond’s back. “I thought you said Sam was cool!”

Steve stepped back from Sam to turn to his boyfriend. “What?”

Bucky waved at Sam who was staring at the brunet with raised eyebrows. “Air Force? Really?”

Steve looked back at Sam and realized that he was wearing an Air Force sweatshirt. Before he could comment Sam came to his own defense.

“Yeah, Air Force really.” Sam brought his hands to his hips to show off the words better. “Specifically, pararescue.”

“Okay, you get cool points for pararescue,” Bucky conceded, “But it doesn’t do much since you’re started in the negative.”

Steve looked between the two men and rolled his eyes. “Seriously? This is an issue?”

“Nah, Steve, it’s cool,” Sam said retaking his seat. “I’ve come to expect that army boys don’t know how to behave in public.”

“Really, flyboy?” Bucky asked as he and Steve took their seats. “Steve, I don’t know if I can let you be friends with this guy.”

“Bucky!” Steve sputtered. This was not at all what he was expecting for a night out. “What are you - ?”

“So, what make you think you’re good enough for our Steve?” Sam interrupted Steve to ask.

Bucky narrowed his eyes and glared. “I’m a great cook, I ride a sexy motorcycle, and I take it up the ass like a good boy.”

Steve’s forehead hit the table as he felt his face heat up. “Bucky…”

Sam nodded thoughtfully. “Well, I suppose I can give you a few points for that, but you’ve now embarrassed Steve and that pretty much negates any positive you’ve gained.”

“Sam…” Steve could not believe this.

“Hush, Steve, we’re posturing,” Sam said patting Steve on the shoulder.

“What can I get you guys tonight?”

“Guinness,” Steve said bringing his head up. “And a plate of gravy fries, please.”

Sam lifted his chin and stared at Bucky. “Lindeman’s cherry lambic,” he stated slowly.

Bucky’s stare went glacier and he matched Sam’s tone when he said, “Well’s Banana Bread beer.”

The waitress gave Steve a curious look before acknowledging the orders and heading toward the bar.

“Uhm…Guys?” Steve asked, his eyebrows coming together. “What’s going on?”

Bucky gave him a side eye and then huffed a laugh just as Sam snorted.

“Oh, Stevie, the look on your face!” Bucky chuckled out.

“Good job, man,” Sam agreed as he held his fist towards Bucky.

“You guys planned this,” Steve accused as the men fistbumped.

“Nah,” Bucky denied giving Steve a side hug. “But I couldn’t pass up the opening when I saw the shirt.”

“And I expect anyone who dates you to be at least a little bit of an asshole,” Sam said with a smirk.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine. You got me.”

The waitress came back with their drinks and let them know that the fries would be out shortly.

“So, you play darts, flyboy?” Bucky asked gesturing at the boards behind him.

“I’m pretty kickass at darts, actually,” Sam replied.

“Yeah, I’m betting I’m better.” Bucky smirked at he took a sip of his beer.

“Okay, pretty boy, bring it.” Sam got up and walked over to grab the darts.

Steve shook his head as he watched his boyfriend and best friend start their game. Somehow this was his life.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Bowling for Soup


	6. Requiem for a Dying Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because StarBucksPanda has nicely asked for this twice and because I'm currently sick and needed a distraction:
> 
> In Which Steve has to deal with a fussy mother...hen of a boyfriend.

At the sound of a key turning in a lock, Steve pulled the quilt off his head from where he was burritoed up on his couch trying to ignore his cold.  He squinted at the door (because fuck contacts when you’re sick) and was just able to make out that the person stepping through it was his boyfriend.

“Why are you here?” he asked a bit petulantly. 

“Well, when you didn’t answer any texts or IMs this morning, I buzzed Daisy and she said you called out sick,” Bucky explained as he picked up what looked to be a plastic storage box from the floor of the hallway.  He stepped further into the room and kicked the door closed.  “She said you get colds pretty regularly, so I have come bearing the Barnes Family’s Best Practices Against Colds Kit. Tee Em.” 

Steve sighed and reached to the coffee table for his glasses.  He could actually hear the capital letters in that last sentence. “I don’t need you to baby me, Bucky.  I just want to lie here until I get better or die.” He followed that statement up with a round of coughing.

“A – I am not babying you, I’m pampering you,” Bucky explained as he dropped the storage box onto the coffee table. “And 2 – you already know I’m a mother hen, so might as well give up resisting now.  Also, III – “ and yes, his drama llama boyfriend pronounced it Eye Eye Eye – “if you don’t let me fuss over you I’ll probably do something rash like call your mom.”

“You suck,” Steve stated with a frown and a suppressed sneeze.

“Yes, I do and going by your normal reaction to that, I’d say you like that about me,” Bucky replied reasonably as he pushed things around in his box.  He finally pulled a smaller box out and shook it at Steve before setting it beside him.  “Tissue with aloe, because your nose is already crooked; it doesn’t need to be red and peeling as well.”

“Ass.  Hole.” Steve glared over the tissue he pulled out to blow his nose.  It was, admittedly, much nicer that the cheap store brand he’d been using.

Bucky replied with an air kiss.  He next brought out a bottle of something.  “Have you taken any meds?”

“I don’t like feeling drugged,” Steve grumped.

“Okay, this is going to help you breathe so you can sleep, but shouldn’t make you super groggy,” Bucky explained as he broke the seal.  “Also helps with fever if you have any.”

“Maybe a little,” Steve admitted holding out a hand.  “Let me see the ingredients so I can make sure there’s nothing I can’t have.”

Bucky handed over the bottle and then lay his left hand on Steve’s forehead while the smaller man read the back of the bottle.  The cool metal actually felt nice.  “Yeah, I think you have a little, but nothing worrying.”

There was nothing in the medicine that would be a problem for Steve and he did recognize that the active ingredients would help, so he opened it and took a slug from the bottle.

“Dude!” Bucky squawked.  “You could let me measure out a proper dose!”

“Trust me, I know how much a tablespoon worth of liquid is by feel,” Steve said recapping the bottle and tossing it onto the coffee table.

“Fine!”  Bucky got up and pulled his iPod out of his pocket as he walked to Steve’s stereo.  A little bit of fiddling later and Flogging Molly’s “Rebels of the Sacred Heart” started coming out of the speakers.  Then Bucky picked up the storage box and headed towards the kitchen. 

A couple of minutes later he was back with a large blue water bottle. “This is Gatorade cut with water.  You need a lot of fluids and some electrolytes to replace what you might sweat out because of the fever.”

Steve took the bottle and dutifully drank several mouthfuls before putting it on the table next to the tissues.

“So, now is the part where I mostly leave you alone and make you homemade chicken soup,” Bucky said pecking Steve on the forehead and then walking away.

“Homemade?” Okay, maybe being fussed over when he was sick wasn’t going to be all bad.  Bucky had fed him enough by now that Steve knew never to turn down his cooking.

“Well, duh!”  Bucky was back in the kitchen pulling his crock pot out of the box.  “Half the curative power of chicken soup is smelling it while it’s cooking.” 

“’Zat so?” Steve let himself smile and sink back into the couch cushions.

“According to my ma,” Bucky confirmed.  “And I think you know by now that Mama Barnes is never wrong.”

“And when she is, you don’t tell her, because you’re terrified of her,” Steve agreed.

“No, I’m not,” Bucky denied as he continued to pull things out of the box.  “ _You’re_ terrified of your mom.  I’m _respectful_ of mine.”

Bucky got to work on the soup.  The medicine seemed to be kicking in so Steve closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift a bit as he listed to the music with the background sound of chopping vegetables. However, four songs in something he didn’t recognize came up on the iPod.

“What the ever-loving hell is this?”

 “’Weird’ Al Yankovic’s ‘I’ll Be Mellow When I’m Dead’,” Bucky replied as he dumped something into the crock pot.

“Why do you have this on a Celtic Punk playlist?” Steve asked confused.

“Oh, it’s not exactly a Celtic Punk playlist,” Bucky replied with a shrug.  “It’s more a Songs That Remind Me of My Boyfriend playlist.  So, mostly Celtic Punk, but not all.”

“You’re a sap, Barnes.”

Bucky turned around and beamed at Steve.  “A sap that is making you chicken soup.  So, nap now and I’ll poke you in a couple of hours when lunch is ready.”

Steve found himself smiling at the brunet despite himself.  He pulled his glasses off, put them on the coffee table, and then rewrapped his blanket burrito.  Maybe having a mother hen for a boyfriend wasn’t so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Flogging Molly (who I got to see in concert again last week!)


	7. Holding Out for a Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bucky doesn't have time for assholes when there is coffee to be had.

Bucky followed Steve into the younger man’s favorite coffee shop for a late breakfast.  They settled into the back of the line by the cash register and Bucky proceeded to look the place over. There were lots of overstuffed chairs and old wooden tables, none of which matched.  A chalkboard hung on the wall behind the counter announcing the day’s specials.

“Pretty fancy place,” Bucky observed nudging his boyfriend with a shoulder.  “Sure you’re not secretly a hipster?”  

“Bite me,” Steve responded rolling his eyes.

“Here?” Bucky asked in mock shock.  “I had no idea you were such an exhibitionist.”

“Jerk,” Steve said fighting back a grin and poking the older man’s ribs.

Bucky smiled back and then took a step forward as the person who had been ordering stepped to one side.  The next up were a couple of teenaged girls.  They were holding hands and giggling.  Bucky nudged Steve again.

“What do you think?” he asked quietly nodding in the direction of the girls. “Baby lesbians on their first date?”

“Third actually,” Steve corrected.  “And Kate is bi.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow at the smaller man.

“I volunteer on occasion for a LGBT+ teen group,” he explained.  “Kate and America are both members.  America agonized to me for weeks about wanting to ask Kate out, but being afraid that she’d say no, since Kate’s family is rich.  Then I overheard Kate one day agonizing to one of the other volunteers about how much she like America, but was afraid that her folks’ money would scare her off.  I poked America.  America asked Kate out.  That was two weeks ago.”

“Well, look at you, Mr. Cupid,” Bucky teased.  “And yet, when Nat tried to set you up with a hot cyborg, you refused.”

Steve punched Bucky lightly on his arm.  “Different circumstances, ass.”

Bucky giggled as the girls moved off and they again stepped forward.  He started studying the baked goods to see what might sound like breakfast.  A moment later and Steve’s startled him by calling out.

“Hey!  Leave the girls alone!”

Bucky looked up to see a bruiser of a guy standing over the couch the girls had selected with a scowl on his face.  Then Steve was marching over to the trio as America stood up.

“I said leave them alone!” Steve grabbed the guy’s arm.

“It’s okay, Steve,” America said at the same time the bruiser shook Steve off and growled, “Nunya business, asshole.”

“It is certainly my business, _Chad,_ ” Steve spit out.  “They are my friends and they have a right to enjoy their morning without you giving them shit every time they turn around.”

“We’re fine, Steve,” America assured.  “He’s annoying, but that’s about all.”

“Listen, bitch,” Chad said turning on the girl.  “You stole my girlfriend and I’m gonna get her back!”

“Ugh!” Kate exclaimed from the couch.  “I was never your girlfriend!  And calling _my_ girlfriend a bitch is definitely not the way to make me want to be!”

“Damnit.” Bucky heard from his left.  He turned to see the barista staring at the scene.  “That asshole keeps coming in here and I can’t get the boss to ban him.”

“I see,” Bucky said and then walked up to the group.  Chad was leaning dangerously into Steve’s space.  

“Let’s take this outside,” Bucky said tapping the asshole on his shoulder.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“The guy who is asking you to take it outside,” Bucky explained patiently.

“Bucky, I got this -,” Steve started.

“ _We’ve_ got this,” America interrupted.

“Okay,” Bucky agreed pleasantly.  He reached out with his left hand and caught Chad’s wrist.  When the guy went to pull back he tightened his grip.  The other man’s eyes bugged out.

“Outside,” Bucky repeated quietly and then started pulling Chad toward the door.  

Once outside he released the younger man and began, “So, obviously you need a few pointers about picking up women.”

Chad turned and swung a haymaker at Bucky, which he easily avoided.  “First, make sure that they are actually looking for a boyfriend.”  The guy threw another punch and Bucky ducked away from it.  “Then, ask her about herself - hobbies, favorite books, that sort of thing.”  He again elegantly sidestepped another blow.  “Find out what you’ve got in common and start up a conversation about it - “

“Would you fucking hold still!” Chad yelled.

“Sure thing,” Bucky agreed easily.  This time when the asshole swung at him, Bucky grabbed his arm and easily tossed him over one shoulder to land flat on his back on the sidewalk.  

“Seriously,” Bucky continued bending over to smile down at a gasping Chad.  “If you don’t have anything in common or she’s already taken, you’re just wasting your time trying to woo her.  Look around for someone who likes big and dumb.  You’ll have a much better chance with them.”

Chad scrambled away and stood up.  He pointed an accusing finger at Bucky.  “You’re crazy.”

“Ex-army,” Bucky said with a shrug.  “We sometimes have issues.”

Chad huffed at him and turned to stomp his way down the sidewalk.  Behind him there was applause.

“Man, Steve, you hittin’ that?” America asked as Bucky turned to them.

“Oh, yeah,” Steve said nodding enthusiastically.

“Thanks for your help,” Kate said stepping up to Bucky.  “Our dads work together, so I’ve known Chad most of my life.  He turned into a real ass once he hit puberty.”

“Well, I doubt I’ve stopped him for more than today,” Bucky said.  “Make sure your parents know he’s been harassing you.  They might be able to talk his folks into doing something more permanent about it.”

“Sure,” she agreed.  “Come on, I’ll buy you and Steve breakfast.  Least I can do.”

Bucky grinned and then stepped forward to sling an arm around Steve as they reentered the coffee shop.

“I had him on the ropes,” Steve muttered snaking his own arm around the taller man’s waist.

“Course you did,” Bucky agreed planting a light kiss on his temple.  “But there was coffee and I didn’t want to have to wait on getting you patched up first.  Besides, what’s the point of working out every day if I can’t show off my muscles to my best guy?”

“Well, if that’s what you were doing, then next time I expect you to take your shirt off before you haul the guy outside,” Steve said leading Bucky back up to the barista.

“Anything for you, punk.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Bonnie Tyler


	8. Us of Lesser Gods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we find out that Steve is not always the self confident punk he projects

Bucky was surprised when Natasha opened Steve’s door.  He was doubly surprised at how frustrated she looked.

“Oh, good.  You’re early,” Natasha growled out.  “Go in there and give that neurotic asshole a blowjob so he can find his chill.”

“Whu - ?”  Bucky started.

“I do not need a blowjob!” Steve called from his bedroom.  A moment later he was standing in the doorway wearing only a pair of boxer briefs.  “I mean, if Bucky _wants_ to blow me, I’ll let him, but I’m not being neurotic!”

“Steve, why aren’t you dressed!?” Bucky called out as Steve disappeared back into his room.  He then turned to Natasha.  “Why are you here and why isn’t he dressed?”

“We met for coffee as per our usual Sunday routine,” Natasha explained in a huff.  “He told me he was having lunch with your parents today.  He then proceeded to spaz out over it.  I came here to try to calm him down and help him pick out clothes.  He has been arguing against everything I’ve said since then.”

“You told him my folks are cool, right?”  

“Well, yeah!”  Natasha exclaimed.  “But he’s worked himself into a tizzy and now _you_ can calm him down, because I’m done.”

Bucky nodded and then headed into Steve’s bedroom.  He was standing at the foot of his bed, picking through the pile of clothing that was strewn across it.  Bucky walked up behind Steve, wrapped his arms around him, and kissed his neck.

“What’s wrong, Stevie?”  he asked.

“Nothing’s _wrong_ ; I just want to make a good impression,” Steve replied testily.

“There is no way you’re not going to make a good impression,” Bucky assured him, rocking the two of them back and forth.  “It’s just lunch and then watching baseball on TV.  Dress like you would if you were just hanging out with me.”

“But you said your dad didn’t like the punk thing,” Steve admitted.

“Ah, okay,” Bucky said fondly, turning his boyfriend around to face him.  “When Pop saw your picture he was probably worried that you were an unemployed bum hoping to mooch off me.  I told him you have a good job and once he gets to know you, he’ll see that you’re smart and funny as well.  It’ll be fine.”  He leaned his forehead against Steve’s.  “And Ma is already in your corner, because she can see that you make me happy.  So, put on your skinny jeans and the blue and white plaid shirt, thank Natasha for putting up with you, and let’s go to lunch.”

“You’re sure?”  Steve asked weakly.

“Yes.”  Bucky kissed him firmly.

Once released, Steve took a deep breath and then turned to root around in the pile of clothes for the jeans and shirt.  Bucky glanced over to the bedroom door to see Natasha smirking at him.

“Not bad, Barnes,” she said.  “And you didn’t even have to use sex to relax him.”

“Fuck you, Nat,” Steve said as he pulled his jeans on.

“Yeah, love you, too, brat,” she responded.  “And with that, I’m outta here.”

“Okay, wait,” Steve said pulling his shirt on.  He stepped up to her and gave her a hug.  “Thanks for putting up with me.”

“No prob,” Natasha assured, hugging Steve back.  “And I expect a full report on just how much Freddie embarrasses Bucky after you get back home.”

“Gee, thanks, Nat,” Bucky said with a frown.  “Weren’t you leaving?”

She laughed as she let Steve go and then went to let herself out.

***  
Bucky pulled a fresh soda out of the fridge just as something must have gone wrong for the Mets.  He could hear his dad and Steve cussing up a storm.

“This was not the plan,” Rebecca commented from behind him.

“There was a plan?” he asked straightening up and turning toward her.

“Duh!”  She replied with an eye-roll.  “I was going to convince Steve that he is bi and then steal him from you.  But it looks like Dad might beat me to it”

“You are never going to let me live down the time I accidentally made out with the guy you were interested in, are you,” Bucky groaned out around a grin.  “But, yeah, I’m hoping I’ll be able to drag them apart when the game is over.”

Rebecca giggled.  “You got a keeper, Buckybear.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Flogging Molly

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at pheylan13.tumblr.com where I occasionally say something clever, but more often just reblog other people's cleverness.


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